Children who feel lonely are at greater risk of sexual exploitation
Worldwide, nearly 1 in 5 girls and 1 in 7 boys experience sexual violence before the age of eighteen. New research by Terre des Hommes Netherlands shows that emotional problems are not only a consequence of child sexual exploitation, but also make children more vulnerable to it. At the same time, the study highlights the important role parents and caregivers can play in protecting children.
In the report Caught in the Cycle, we present our research into the relationship between mental health and child sexual exploitation in India, Kenya, Nigeria, and the Philippines. For this study, we spoke with 147 children and young people between the ages of 12 and 22, 104 caregivers, and 46 frontline workers such as teachers, social workers, and child protection officers. We deliberately chose a child-friendly approach: children were not asked to retell their own experiences, but instead analysed the story of a fictional girl in a similar situation.
“You feel like nobody understands you”
Many children described how stress at home, poverty, and family conflict lead to emotional distress. They often feel alone with their worries and are reluctant to talk to anyone about them. A girl from the Philippines explained that when sadness grows, “only sadness fills your thoughts.” Young people in Kenya described how stress makes it difficult to think clearly.
It is precisely this lack of support that makes children extra vulnerable. They look for attention, safety, or understanding – online or offline – and as a result, sometimes end up with people who take advantage of their situation. According to social workers, exploitation often does not begin with coercion, but with attention and apparent empathy: someone who listens, gives small gifts, or is “there for you” online.
Boys and girls are vulnerable in different ways
The research shows that girls and boys are both vulnerable, but for different reasons. Girls grow up under constant social control: if something happens, they are quickly blamed. This fear of reputational damage makes it difficult to ask questions about boundaries or safety, and makes them more susceptible to manipulation through shame.
Boys, on the other hand, are often taught from an early age that showing emotions is a sign of weakness. “Don’t cry” is a message they hear everywhere. As a result, they suppress their feelings, do not seek help, and often do not view themselves as victims, even when they are. It is precisely this emotional isolation that makes boys vulnerable to manipulation by older peers or adults offering attention, status, or friendship. Consequently, boys are also less likely to be recognized as victims.
A vicious cycle
Sexual exploitation and mental health issues reinforce each other. Children who experience abuse often struggle afterward with shame, anxiety, guilt, and depressive symptoms. Many withdraw from others and lose trust in people around them.
Yet, most children do not seek help. They fear not being believed, being blamed, or bringing trouble upon their families. Many distrust the police or support services, and not without reason: across all four countries, children and caregivers described systems in which children do not feel safe or heard. This silence is not the child’s choice. It is the outcome of an environment where speaking up feels more dangerous than remaining silent.
One trusted adult can make a difference
Despite these difficult circumstances, the research also shows what helps. A listening parent, an engaged teacher, or a safe place in the neighborhood can protect a child from further exploitation. When children were asked to come up with a safer ending for the fictional girl Sali, they did not think of the police or helplines, but of a friend who noticed her sadness, a teacher who asked how she was doing, or a neighbor who intervened.
What can parents and caregivers do?
The research shows that children feel better protected when they experience emotional support at home. These things make a difference:
- Listen without judging or getting angry immediately. Children are quicker to seek help if an adult listens calmly.
- Regularly ask how they are really doing. Emotional problems often build up slowly. Children do not naturally talk about stress, anxiety, or online contacts.
- Take feelings seriously, even if they seem minor. A child who feels lonely, down, or rejected for a long period can become more vulnerable to manipulation.
- Talk openly about online safety and relationships. Many children look for attention online when they feel lonely. That is precisely why it is important to be able to talk about online contact without shame or punishment.
- Provide structure and regular moments of connection. Predictable routines, such as a eating dinner together, talking a walk, or spending time together before bedtime, give children emotional stability and a sense of mattering. This in itself has a protective effect.
- Pay attention to signs of withdrawal. Quiet behavior, isolation, sudden anger, or anxiety can be signs that a child is struggling with something.
- Emphasize: it is never their fault. Shame and fear keep many children silent. A safe response from adults can break that cycle.
Caught in the Cycle
This research is part of the MEND project (Mental Health and Exploitation: New Directions), in which Terre des Hommes Netherlands works alongside local partners to connect mental health and protection against sexual exploitation. The findings will be used to improve programs, inform policymakers, and train frontline workers, both within the four studied countries and beyond.
Read the full report: Caught in the Cycle: Emotional Distress and Child Sexual Abuse and Exploitation.
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